I'm a junior at Yale, but that does not define me. I like a lot of things, I'm honest to a fault, and I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, but I do know where I'm going. This blog is a hodge-podge of my likes, dislikes, dreams, thoughts, and fears; I hope it makes you laugh, cry, think. It's all me, and not me in terms of whoever I may be working for or want to work for, so take it with a grain of salt. Merci et je suis ici à votre plaisir!

backkk!

it’s been far too long. I don’t even have any excuses.

but I’m ready to return to the tumblrverse!!

Lundi, septembre 30, 2013

sad radio

Apple decided to rape destroy Spotify et al by coming out with iTunes radio recently, and so far it’s working. I just searched “sad radio” and I’m feeling the blues.

I wonder, can you try too hard to be happy? I know it’s literally been forever since I last posted anything original on this baby of mine (and I always say I’m gonna post more frequently, but lezbehonest, I’ll do my best), so I’ll do a little update.

I’m studying abroad this semester at University of St Andrews, a wonderful little town in Scotland. The North Sea is right there and there’s so much nature, my lungs hurt from the freshness. But I got sick as soon as I arrived, and have been sick since (it’s laryngitis, fyi). And as a third year living among excited freshers, it took me awhile to get back into the swing of making friends. On Facebook, I had some serious FOMO while looking through my friends’ pics at Yale, and I missed my family even more. 

I kept my spirits up by forcing myself to talk to new people, and I think I’ve made some good friends. The problem is, we’re in such different parts of life, university speaking, that I don’t know how to make it last. They’re fresh out of high school, and still immature. I like to think I’m a wise junior, and I’m so over playing games in any type of relationship. Honesty is the key for me.

What I’m trying to get at here, in this stream-of-consciousness-thank-you-for-reading this post, is that by trying to be happy so much and trying to make the most of everything, I’ve been finding myself getting sad. And that’s exactly why I decided to leave Yale for a semester, to get over this depression. Mental health is a taboo subject, and often if I say I’m depressed, people will think I’m just being dramatic. And maybe listening to sad iTunes radio while writing this isn’t the best way to get over the sadness, but I’m really missing my friends right now. 

I miss being able to go my suitemate’s room and talk about any and everything. I miss the anytime talks my roommate and I used to have. The songs we would laugh and cry to. I miss being able to hear someone’s caring voice because Skype doesn’t do anything justice, especially when the UK wifi is the worst on the planet (where I’ve been). I miss dropping everything and going for ice cream and forgetting the unhappy things. I miss hugs.

Because I’ve built these friendships up over two years now, and I know them and they know me, and here, I just feel very much alone. I can’t hide behind the smiles and the jokes anymore, watching others make their best friends. I’m just here temporarily, right? No one comes to me to cry, and I won’t have anyone to go crying to either. 

Vendredi, septembre 6, 2013
Jeudi, septembre 5, 2013

$$$$ talks, you betta listen! Get yours at spyeshicnyc.com #moneytalks #homemade #strutyourstuff #spye #shicnyc cc: @shicnyc

Lundi, août 12, 2013
Vendredi, août 9, 2013
"Well-run libraries are filled with people because what a good library offers cannot be easily found elsewhere: an indoor public space in which you do not have to buy anything in order to stay. In the modern state there are very few sites where this is possible. The only others that come readily to my mind require belief in an omnipotent creator as a condition for membership. It would seem the most obvious thing in the world to say that the reason why the market is not an efficient solution to libraries is because the market has no use for a library. But it seems we need, right now, to keep re-stating the obvious. There aren’t many institutions left that fit so precisely Keynes’ definition of things that no one else but the state is willing to take on. Nor can the experience of library life be recreated online. It’s not just a matter of free books. A library is a different kind of social reality (of the three dimensional kind), which by its very existence teaches a system of values beyond the fiscal."
Vendredi, août 2, 2013
Basically every morning I’ve been watching Fresh Prince of Belair. And if you haven’t, you are really and truly missing out. Never old, always funny, a true classic.

Basically every morning I’ve been watching Fresh Prince of Belair. And if you haven’t, you are really and truly missing out. Never old, always funny, a true classic.

Mardi, juillet 30, 2013
"I am obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in her skin."

Sandra Cisneros (via erraticintrovert)

this is a daily goal.

(via ayoitsdezzy)

Samedi, juillet 27, 2013
"

The bigger issue with Miley Cyrus is her complete obliviousness to the differences in public reaction when it comes to herself versus black people. When Miley Cyrus plays at ratchet, we get three reactions: fangirls/fangays spooing all over themselves telling the internet how much they love her, non-fans giving deep eyerolls and moving on to the next, and middle-aged white people making vague statements about how they’re “concerned” about her state of mind. The reaction she does not get is that if she were shot by a neighborhood watchman, then she deserved it because she flips the bird and does drugs and glamorizes hoodrat behavior.

That’s my problem. My problem is black kids like Trayvon Martin play at being ratchet everyday and the rest of America looks at them like they’re all budding criminals. The defense in that case put Trayvon Martin’s character on trial, by wanting us to infer that he was headed down the wrong path to prison anyway. Because of a few Myspace photos and a toxicology report, we should be glad we got that thug off the streets. They turned him into a thug for doing the exact same things that Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber do, the exact same things that millions of little white kids do in their gated communities, driving around in Daddy’s SUV listening to old-school NWA and rolling spliffs and bragging about it on social media.

That is what white privilege looks like. If you are a white apologist who continuously doubts that white privilege exists, ask yourself if Miley Cyrus or any other 20-year-old white girl would be put on trial posthumously if someone shot her for walking around in a hoodie. That is the definition of white privilege.

"

So let’s talk about _____ .: Miley Cyrus says she should be able to make shitty videos because…George Zimmerman. 

Such an excellent post weaving popular culture, current events and white privilege. 

(via mel0di)

 
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